September 2023

Hello and thank you all for coming to join us this evening.

 

We meet here on the first Monday of every month to remember the UK women who have been killed by men.

And we stand in front of this banner that talks about Ending Violence Against Women and Girls.

And we honour the women who have experienced the most extreme version of that violence and have been killed by a man.

And we will do that in a moment, but I want to talk for a moment about ending VAWG as a wider subject.

By Government definition VAWG covers – and this is a quote- a range of unacceptable and deeply distressing crimes, including rape and other sexual offences, stalking, domestic abuse, ‘honour’-based abuse (including female genital mutilation, forced marriage and ‘honour’ killings), ‘revenge porn’ and ‘upskirting’, as well as many others.

These crimes disproportionately affect women and girls, however, it is acknowledged that men and boys can also be victims of violence and abuse.

That’s the definition for Government purposes in terms of commissioning services to help end VAWG.

 

And I don’t think there’s anything new in there, but I just wanted to remind myself of the wider context.

Maybe I was hoping that since absolutely nothing has changed in terms of the number of killings of women since we started this vigil, maybe things had got better in another area. 

My hopes were dashed.

On Monday, 21 August, in Marble Hill Park, in Twickenham, in the leafy Borough of Richmond upon Thames where people lead a charmed life and women are protected by superb street lighting - a woman, in her mid-40s, reported she had been raped by a stranger. At 8am on a Monday morning.

A 28-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of rape, later that same day, at an address in Lambeth and he was subsequently charged on Wednesday, 23 August.

Seriously, I just don’t know where to start with that.

Broad daylight, somewhere I have been many times myself and honestly felt pretty safe and secure.

Raped by a stranger at 8am on a Monday morning. I don’t know why I think rape is a late-night-weekend-only thing but this is one of the things that I keep coming back to.

Maybe because so much emphasis is put on teaching women and girls how to keep themselves safe when they’re out at night.

I do want to acknowledge that the Police – the much vilified Met Police – arrested someone the same day and they were charged within three days.

I worry that the lack of local press coverage means that this is not the rare incident I hope it is and in fact it’s such a daily one that it doesn’t merit column inches…

I feel huge compassion for the woman who was the victim of this crime, and her family and friends who will also be affected by it.

 

And, of course, I empathise with the local estate agents as property prices around Marble Hill plummet… NOT

 

All joking aside, it makes me personally very sad.

And I need to move through that, in the 27 stages of feminism, and start to get angry. And then that will energise me to do something and ask all of you to help and do whatever it is with me.

 

 

And maybe it’s the late Summer heat and sunshine but how the hell – excuse my French – am I supposed to process the study by the University of Manchester, reported by the BBC today…

 

Five mums have died after family courts allowed fathers accused of abuse to apply for contact with their children.

 

Some took their own lives, another had a heart attack outside court.

One mother, whose child was ordered to live with a convicted child rapist, would no longer eat and drink and "gave up living", friends say.

 

A separate study has found 75 children forced into contact with fathers who had been previously reported for abuse.

In some cases, the fathers were convicted paedophiles.

 

Is it just me or has the world gone completely mad?

That’s VAWG being enacted by our court system!!!

 

And, small point to the BBC news editor – my email is already sent – don’t trivialise these women by calling them Mums when the abusive men get the much grander title of Father.

 

Putting together the sad list of the women whose deaths have been reported as murders since we last met makes me angry every month and I thought I would be calmer this month, because actually only 4 have been reported – but I suspect that is because there are people away and not reading their local press to report them.

 

 

So can we take a moment to remember the following:

 

21 July 2023: Sharon Gordon, 58, was found dead at her home in Dudley. Peter Norgrove, 43, has been charged with murder.

 

30 July 2023: Claire Orrey, 58, was found dead at a home in Telford. Her husband also sustained serious injuries. A man of 31 was arrested on suspicion of murder and detained under the Mental Health Act. Police are not looking for anyone else in connection with Claire’s death.

 

3 August 2023: Christine Emmerson, who was in her 70s, was found dead at an address in Lincolnshire. She had been stabbed. Shaun Emmerson, 50, has been charged with murder.

 

5 August 2023: Kelli Bothwell, 53, was found injured at a home in South Yorkshire. She died from a stab wound. Paul Cousans, 52, has been charged with murder.

 

 

 

 

So, well, I’ve got nothing else to say. I shall head home and continue to fume…

 

Thank you for your time this evening and I hope you will join us again on Monday October 2nd.

 

I will hope to have better and more positive news for you.